Art Works Stolen in Zurich. Jenny Lamenting Career Choice.

Four impressionist masterpieces were stolen by armed robbers from a gallery in Zurich on Sunday. Peter Rüegger, head of the police investigation, has said that, “This is the largest ever art robbery in Switzerland, and it would be hard to find a bigger example elsewhere in Europe."

And I'm not so much concerned about the paintings as I am in wondering why nobody ever told me when I was growing up that "chief investigator of priceless, famous art robberies" was an actual job that you could get. Because that might have changed things for me. I might have spent a lot less time reading bullshit essays about deconstruction and postdeconstruction and pre/post/deconstruction if I would have known that instead I could have been reading "How to Chase Art Thieves Through Europe." Peter Rüegger is my hero. Right now he's dusting for fingerprints, reviewing grainy, mysterious security footage, and booking overnight flights to places like Copenhagen, and what am I doing? Grading papers. Ugh.