Shoe Meltdown

Dear Every Shoe Designer,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with this season's shoe options. Yes, you've given us many choices, but unfortunately all of those choices suck.

It's not that I am looking to find a hundred pairs that I like. In fact, I am on a TIGHT budget and can only afford one or two...(give or take three or four)...pairs. But there is NOTHING OUT THERE FOR ME! I only have one pair of shoes! And god knows ballet flats can only get you so far. The way I see it, there are two major categories this year: expensive-hoochie and inexpensive-hoochie. Please take note: ridiculously high shoes are ridiculous. They might look cool on the shelf, but NO GIRL can walk on them. And those that try look like drunken pirates--swerving and swaying and tripping all over the place. It makes you seasick just looking at them.

The shoe salesman at Nordstrom told me there were plenty of other options. And one of those options was "peep-toes." Don't get me started on peep-toes. I apologize if anybody likes them or has them, but I just think they look a little silly. I say you should either see all of your toes, or none of your toes. Two or three toes sticking out makes it looks like you are walking around with a hole in your sock. The other choice was "cork wedges." Now, let me tell you from experience that cork wedges are the WORST idea EVER. I had a pair of cork wedges last summer, and the first day it rained do you know what happened? That's right! The cork soaked up all the water and the shoes were ruined. You might as well walk about with sponges on your feet.

So, please, I beg you. I don't want to walk around on flip-flops all summer.

Sincerely,

Jenny