Things That Are Wrong with the World This Week

1. Ashlee Simpson is getting good reviews as Roxy Hart in the London production of Chicago.

2. Tori Spelling getting pregnant is on the cover of three magazines.

3. Eva Longoria dumped Tony Parker for Mario Lopez. It's not so much I care about Eva Longoria's happiness as I care about the fact that Mario Lopez is still in the news. I don't know how to kickbox, but if I did I would love to kickbox that guy in the face.

4. Which brings me to my next point. The reason Mario Lopez is back in the news is because he is on Dancing with the Stars. I think there should be a question on the ballot in November: Do you think Dancing with the Stars should be cancelled--Yes or No? I will vote for any candidate that opposes that show. Healthcare, Iraq, whatever. SOMEONE JUST GET RID OF THAT SHOW. Us Weekly's "Stars, They're Just Like Us" section is full of those idiots taking out their trash. Um, yeah, Us Weekly, they are "just like us." You know why? CAUSE THEY'RE NOT CELEBRITIES.