Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I Can't Even Think of a Good Title for a Post About This Moron

In case you didn't hear, Wilder Valderrama went on the Howard Stern Show yesterday in order to brag about, among other things, sleeping with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashlee Simpson and Lindsey Lohan, taking Mandy Moore's virginity, and having a penis that is "over eight inches long."

You know what annoys me most about the whole thing? The word "over." It's like---he couldn't just say "eight"? He had to give himself credit for those extra fractions of an inch. God forbid anybody should think his penis was only eight inches long. He knew he couldn't get away with nine, but HE'LL BE DAMNED if anybody thinks he's only got eight.

Here is a rundown of the Stern interview.

And at this point I think I should give credit to Emily who predicted this penis story months ago.


Anonymous said...

Well, with That 70s Show ending, I don't think we're going to have endure Wilder that much longer; but then again, something tells me he's one of those guys who will somehow manage to stick around, popping up in the back pages of US Magazine, maybe appearing at the occasional movie premiere, his arm around some girl who used to be on One Tree Hill. I don't see him dating anymore A-List celebrities (even with eight inches plus), but it'll probably be a few years until he finally vanishes for good.

femme feral said...

wow. hilarious. truly worthy of annoying boy of the week / bam-bam status. And that picture!

Emily said...

Wow, never before have I had a tangible reason for not wanting to be Mandy Moore...but now I sure do. I mean, I'm not going to say the guy I lost my virginity to was AWESOME. But at least it wasn't Fez.

p.s. I'm so thrilled that I predicted his big penis...too bad I can't remember...stay tuned for my next prediction