Sunday, December 04, 2005

Depressing Christmas Music

I just spent the whole day at the iTunes music store compiling the Best Christmas Mix EVER. I've got everything. Bing Crosby, Barbara Streisand, Johnny Mathis, even Wham! But you know what song will not make my mix this year? Frosty the Snowman. You know why? Cause I listened to it last night and I actually think it's kind of sick. I mean Frosty DIES at the end. That's messed up. I just don't buy into the line that goes, "Come let's run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away." I mean, you know you're going to die at the end of the day and you're gonna feel like jumping around and having fun? I don't think so. It's totally unrealistic. You'd be better off spending the day getting your ass to the North Pole, hanging out there for the year, and coming back when it snows again. At the end of the song, Frosty tells the kids not to worry, that he'll "be back again some day." Um, no, Frosty. No you won't. You're not coming back. You're going to evaporate. Sure, the kids might make ANOTHER snowman next year--but it won't be you.

Another song that I hate? Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. It's so mean-spirited.


femme feral said...

I actually think many xmas songs are sad -- perhaps because they make me feel nostalgic?

i hope you put the simpson sisters' cover of "little drummer boy" on that mix.

Donny B said...

OK, hilarious point about Frosty.

But Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer? Come on, that's just good, dark, macabre humor.

Theodora said...

Awwww, "Frosty the Snowman" is so cute. Especially the part that goes "thumpity-thump-thump". It is kind of depressing though, that Frosty melts away. It certainly traumatized me.

Jenny said...

Okay, okay, I have to admit that I sort of smile when the Grandma is found facedown with reindeer marks on her back.

Emily said...

For me, the problem with Grandma got run over by a Reindeer is not the morbid nature of the lyrics (can you tell I wasn't close with my grandmothers?) It's just the fact that the tune is SO DAMN ANNYOING.

It's one of those that gets stuck in my head for hours on end. And not in a good way either like that song that goes "Loving you, is easy 'cause you're beautiful..."--it has that "la la la la la" part that is completely infectious, but totally unrelated to Christmas.

This year's Christmas mix in the Beaulieu household features such uncelebrated classics as the anti-consumer ode "Here Comes Fatty Claus", featuring the hook: Here comes Fatty with a sack of shit." Also, I've included "Santa Clause is a Black Man." This little ditty allows you enjoy Christmas whilst also celebrating black power.

Perhaps my favorite cut on the mix is Sammy Davis Jr. singing "It's Christmas Time all over the World." I love the fact that it's quite possibly the most ethnocentric Christmas carol ever...well, right up there with the famous Band-Aid "Do they know it's Christmas?" song, about starving kids in Africa...who probably don't know it's Christmas, by the way, since most of them are muslim. But the Sammy Davis ditty is choice b/c it's not trying to send any kind of powerful message besides: everybody loves Christmas, the whole world over! Plus, it's sung by a Jew, which, as far as I'm concerned makes every Christmas carol better.

Jenny said...

Some excellent suggestions, Emily. My mix is still a work in progress. If you'd like to forward me any of those songs, feel free!